Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Shock

In college I had a roommate who was my best friend. We shared so much together. We laughed with and at each other, we stayed up late watching infomericals, convincing ourselves that we, in fact, did NOT need a Ron-Co Electric Food Dehydrator. We kept each other in shape, in line, in love with the Lord, we just kept each other. Then one day she left. Evil crept in and told her she wasn't able to make it, that she wasn't strong enough even though we all knew that she was stronger than each of us. The roaring lion of lies pursued her, caused those closest to her to sin against her, myself included, and convinced her it couldn't be made better. She left. She vanished. For 3 years I've seen her smile in pictures and mostly in my memories, I've thought about her every day. When I found out I was pregnant, my heart yearned to tell her, I just wanted her to be a part of this very special beginning in my life, I wanted to make amends and make things right again, but I couldn't find her. Yesterday, I did. Another dear friend of mine called to tell me that Krystal lives in the very apartment complex at which she just became employed. What are the odds? I believe with everything in me that this is my chance, this is the opportunity the Lord has provided for me to enter into healing with her. But now that king of liars is planting fear in my heart. Fear of rejection mostly, fear that she has forgotten me, fear that I don't matter to her the way she has always mattered to me. Yet even with all of these fears pulsing through me, I will begin to write her a letter, pouring my heart and yearning out as best I can through tears and heart ache and frailty. Please pray that she will receive me, that her heart will have had time to soften and that the wounds would be healed enough for her to left me in...

1 things you had to say:

Christina Pond said...

Oh girl! Wow! God is amazing. He has his hands on this! That is amazing! I know he will give you the exact words to say, and not one more or less. Have confidence in that! I will pray for you! I hope you can re-connect, it sounds like you guys had a really special connection!

Life is hard a lot of the time, but time does heal, and hopefully she has got her feet grounded now, and if not maybe your love and presence can help!!!! Nothing like a good friend!

You are a great one!