I've been feeling extra useless lately. Something has crept inside of me, telling me that my job as mother and wife is not enough, that I'm slowly losing my identity as an individual. I still want to do things that matter, I want to impact my friends, my community. I want to make a difference. Lately I've been feeling like I can hardly breathe with all of the little tasks required at home, much less get out of the house to do something grand. My outings (which, sadly, I get very excited about) are generally to the grocery store, bank, or church. I just don't see the world any more, I have no idea what is going on out there. The voice inside me is deafening, screaming at me that I am just existing. No more, no less. How can I reconcile this? How can I quit the navel gazing and start living a life that will inspire my son, yet still get all the little mundane responsibilities of life done? I just want to teach Asher how to do great things with his life. Not with words, but by example.
I am weary of holding it in.
Indeed, I cannot."